I thought people may have been exagerrating with their reviews of Alone in the Dark, but it is truly awful. Acting, dialogue, and choreography issues aside, it just made absolutely no sense. What was the evil doctor actually trying to accomplish? How did he control the 'xenos'? Where did they all come from if the gate was closed? How come everybody else needed the worms surgically implanted, but later he could just drop one in a guy's mouth? Why did it say the city had been evacuated, then Christian Slater implied that it had been wiped out? And where did this apocalyptic wave of death come from, if Stephen Dorff needlessly fatal detonation sealed the gate? Gah. It was so bad that Tara Reid was actually above the material. The only good thing about it was I discovered a quite awesome song called Wish I Had An Angel by Nightwish during the closing credits. Although I must confess to a morbid curiosity regarding Dr. Boll's other works now...

In contrast, National Treasure, though ridiculous, was both coherent and entertaining. It's description as 'Da Vinci Code Lite' seems well deserved. Sean Bean was awesome, but when is that ever a surprise? An enjoyable way to cleanse one's cinematic pallette.

Why is Inigo Montoya trying to sell me cholesterol medication?